The Kids Are All Right
Composite Score: 85.67
Starring: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson, Yaya DaCosta, Kunal Sharma, Eddie Hassell, Zosia Mamet, and Joaquín Garrido
Director: Lisa Cholodenko
Writers: Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Romance
MPAA Rating: R for strong sexual content, nudity, language, and some teen drug and alcohol use
Box Office: $34.76 million worldwide
Why should you Watch This Film?
The Kids Are All Right is Lisa Cholodenko’s critically acclaimed film about a lesbian couple and their children whose lives get a bit more interesting when their 18-year-old daughter seeks out the man who served as the sperm donor for both she and her younger brother. The film stars Annette Bening and Julianne Moore as mothers Nic and Jules, Mark Ruffalo as the aforementioned sperm donor Paul, and Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson as siblings Joni and Laser. The film is notable for being one of the first mainstream films to portray same-sex parents of teens, and it has received acclaim for that, and the leading performances of the adults. It received Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Lead Actress for Bening, and Best Supporting Actor for Ruffalo. While Moore didn’t receive recognition at the Oscars, she holds her own alongside the others, and together they make the film a fascinating watch.
Why shouldn’t you Watch This Film?
The Kids Are All Right did a lot for destigmatizing and normalizing same-sex parenthood, but it’s not without its flaws because of its framing. When watched as intended – as a film simply about the complexities of marriage and parenthood – those flaws don’t exist, but for most audiences in the U.S., at least those over the age of thirty, it’s probably going to be difficult to view this as something that’s not trying to make statements about lesbian marriages in particular. That’s where the problems come. When you start to view this film as diagnostic of lesbian and/or other LGBTQ+ relationships, then it can be easy to see it as confirming of certain problematic stereotypes and beliefs – specifically about the existence of gender roles even within homosexual relationships and about bisexuals (especially bi women) that they are generally less faithful in romantic relationships. I don’t think these stereotypes even entered Cholodenko’s thinking when she wrote or made the film, but as someone who was once on the other side of the LGBTQ+ discourse, it’s a bit more apparent and unfortunate because of how good the film is at simply examining marriage and parenthood. The knowledge that there probably are people who (hate-)watch this film and misconstrue its narrative to reinforce their own problematic stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community is frustrating and sad but an unfortunate fact that we need to be aware of.
So wait, why should you Watch This Film?
Conversely, the acting and story of The Kids Are All Right goes a long way in winning over even the most skeptical of audiences. It tells a story of parents seeking to connect with their adolescent children – a universal story – in a very authentic way. The give and take between being controlling and being permissive feels like a constant tension in the lives of every parent, and Cholodenko’s script captures that so well. When you compound the parenthood story with the marriage story – the complicated nature of two people with different desires, different passions, and different goals in life who, despite it all, love each other more than anything else in the world – and you get an excellent encapsulation of the modern family experience.
To top it all off, the three actors at the fore of the film do an excellent job in their respective roles, to the tune of Oscar noms for two of them. Ruffalo’s Oscar nominated performance might now feel a bit underwhelming, given his body of work since 2010, but the nuance that he brings to being a single, middle-aged not-quite-dad character makes him exactly as empathetic, sympathetic, and reprehensible as he needs to be in this film, which makes it an excellent performance. Likewise, Bening fully earns her Oscar nomination as the quieter of the two mothers, lending so much emotional resonance to the character of Nic, allowing the audience to feel her frustration, confusion, and, ultimately, love regarding all the members of her family. Moore, though not Oscar-nominated for this performance, still gives a scene-stealing showing for most of the film as she muddles through self-employment, an affair, marriage, and motherhood, encapsulating the essence of complication that seems to define this film. Together, the three adult leads make this film into an endearingly complicated look at the nature of family, marriage, and parenthood.
Lisa Cholodenko’s The Kids Are All Right hits the right notes in its examination of the complex nature of family thanks to the combination of her writing and the perfect trio of leading performers to make it sing, earning it a place among the greats. It doesn’t necessarily do a great job of overcoming certain problematic stereotypes, but that’s not the point of the film, and it achieves its actual goal of normalizing family in all its complicated forms excellently. You can currently rent this film on most streaming platforms if you’d like to check it out soon.
